DA: Since Ive walked in, and in actual fact whilst I was standing outside I was so pleased I became aware okay of three energies, three spirit people, three spirit energies. Two of them are ladies and one of a gentleman.

Actually he was just chatting away to Daniella and having a coffee.

Now what I want to say, [thank you Sam just give me that link]. Erm, what I want to say is one of the lovely ladies, Im very aware, would have passed over. I know there was a blood condition. I know she was hospitalised. When I say that I say that humbly, thats what Im being shown and told. Some kind of blood condition that caused her to erm er be laying in hospital conditions.

I feel that she was, administered um, some kind of drugs to combat what I feel was a cancer condition with her.

Okay lets translate that from Acorah-speak. Derek is saying an unnamed woman died of cancer in a hospital. I therefore assume the blood condition was leukaemia. We dont know when this happened, how old she was or what her name was (is). In fact we know sod all that would help identify her.

Debbie: (indistinct)

Thats for certain. And with this lady I feel there was also, if you dont mind me saying, just describing. I feel body weight loss with her greatly. And I know family members were around her and you know its like she said towards the end she was in and out of herself. In other words she wasnt conscious all the time. And it was, she could hear you round her, she could hear a what was spoken. She could hear you talking.

Okay lets pause for some reflection. This lost body weight before she died: among numerous possible symptoms of leukaemia weight loss is indeed one. Derek does make one specific comment that helps us narrow things down a little. He says, She could hear you talking. Thus we can assume Debbie at least visited the woman during her time in hospital conditions. As to the comments about hearing, as we are not informed what was actually said, this provides us with no further useful information.

And I know she was aware of two family members either side of this bed leaning over talking to her. She, she, remembered this feeling of her hair being, er, tidied and doing this (Derek strokes his own face) around her face. She remembers all this and she is thanking you.

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Note: .thanking you.

She wants you to know she could hear what you were saying er shes fine, shes come from the world of spirit, shes in a lovely place.

Once again the reference is clearly aimed at Debbie.

Oh um, this ladys talking about, [thank you Sam] now whether thats her name no shes talking about another lady called Mary. Who was Mary

So this lady who doesnt seem to want to tell us her own name, which would certainly help Debbie identify her, manages to trot out someone elses. Derek asks (presumably because he doesnt actually have a clue) Who was Mary which would imply Mary has passed on. Debbie now enlightens us.

Debbie: Do you know my friend thats here tonight has just lost her mother and her sister is Mary.

So Debbie manages to make things fit, but this doesnt quite ring true. For a start Derek said it referred to Debbie, not her friend. Did her friends mother die of a blood condition etc Well never know. Mary was referred to in the passed tense but the Mary Debbie talks about is still alive. Of course Derek now has a bigger problem, he cant risk giving a reading on TV to someone who has only recently lost their mother. Definitely not, for entertainment purposes only. So rather than verify any of the generalised drivel hes been spouting he has to quickly lose the anonymous woman and move on.

DA: Well can I just say this is what shes giving me, also the man, okay hes coming forward here now. And this man Ill describe to you.

No dont describe him Derek just tell us who he is and what relationship he has to Debbie.

Would have stood in height about five foot ten, around that height. A man please that wasnt what we callhe was bonnie, he had a bit of meat on his bones. And you know hes quite a strong looking man. Most (Derek clutches his own face) I really impressed with this. If you looked at him, hes looking at you erm, the colouration to his cheeks here were not red but there was always colour there and he had a very, very, very strong smile.

You just cant help admire the way Derek whittles down the number of people this could be to just a few million.

But I feel there was a weakness in his eyes when I say he probably wore glasses that were quite strong. And he was, I feel he wants me to say, he, although he had to wear the glasses he was absolutely fed up with them. Didnt like wearing them. On and off, on and off

At this point, possibly realising that he was spouting nonsense, he started to become animated and theatrical presumably in the hope that this will make up for the lack of relevance.

and he liked nothing better to sit in a chair and read his paper and not be bothered by anyone. In other words you know he used to, I feel, maybe his wife used to shout at him say, Come on will you, get dressed properly and you know and hes just laid back, Oh Ill do it, Ill do it, Ill do it.

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Complete poppycock. This is simply a made up story that could apply to just about any family in the UK and beyond. He can reconstruct actual pieces of conversation, tell us the strength of his eyes and yet still not come up with a name or explain what the relationship is to Debbie. Why this isnt entirely transparent to Acorahs devoted masses I have no idea.

Um I also um, oh this other spirit lady, Ill get his name I hope very shortly. This other spirit lady erm, would have passed to the world of spirit with something to do with like a haemorrhage (phrased as a question), a haemorrhage. Now I, a haem...., It could be a dual haemorrhage. Something here (touches his temples) and also haemorrhage elsewhere towards the end. And I feel very, very, very, strong with her as well but I get, she walks around, she walks around (Acorah looks like hes thinking). She actually walks around this home. She comes in visitation, er. Can you remember also Lilly

Two questions, one about the cause of death and one about a name. All Acorah has told us is that he is speaking to a dead woman, no age, no description (not even a general one). Unless he is a complete idiot he knows full well that a haemorrhage in the brain would be referred to as a stroke. What about the other haemorrhage And what does he mean by, Can you remember also Lilly It is entirely bloody obvious to me that hes just throwing out a random name in the hope it may fit somewhere. If she turned around now and said her dead grandmother was called Lilly devoted fans would hail this as further convincing proof that he was communicating with the dead. He isnt, and this is a sham, or, if you prefer Livingtvs definition entertainment.

Debbie responds: No

DA: Okay if its not Lilly itll be Lillian. Wasnt she linked to one of your aunts

Debbie: No.

DA: Lillian.

Debbie: I cant think of anybody to be honest.

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Any particular aunt So when Derek says itll be Lillian he is in fact just plain wrong. If poor Debbie digs deep into her family history and discovers that her Grandmothers best friend at school had grown lilies in her back garden that would probably do for Derek.

And to all those who write to me telling me that Derek is a gifted medium please make a note. You see you just have to chuck out a name and let the mark rack their brains to make a connection. Thats all you need to know to understand what is really happening here. Is Derek more right than would expected by chance Of course not. If he really did have some connection with the dead he would a) be right more often and b) be able to give more information more meaningful information. But hey if you are determined to go on believing dont let me stop you.

DA: Thats okay. Thats alright, itll probably come back to you in a minute

It didnt and was just forgotten.

DA: But I also want to say to you erm that John is also coming in. John No okay John might be Jack.

Stating the obvious for a moment John is just about as general a name as you can get but when it doesnt actually mean anything to Debbie he takes a second shot by throwing in Jack as well. What exactly does he mean by coming in I sort of assume that he means John/Jack managed to get Sams attention on the other side but if Debbie says something like her brother (who well say is alive) is called Jack, Acorah can respond by saying something like, Theyre telling me about Jackblah, blah, blah..

Debbie: Right. (but doesnt sound too sure)

DA: Jack. Okay. And hes coming in. They give me the impression theres a child within the family that they are aware, that, this child. [okay] this child is um. Normally talk about schooling. Erm you I feel they are trying to direct it at you. Youve done a good job over trying to help the child erm, not overcome overcome obstacles but to help the child do better.

What happened to Jack who was coming in Later when the actual reading is finished Debbie says she tought Jack referred to her Grandfather - but he's still alive! Next to Acorah is what appears to be the picture of a young girl. I wonder if he has noticed it He starts talking about an unidentified child, options are left open as to the actual relationship by simply saying she is within the family. Helping a child do better is not exactly laser like precision either.

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Debbie: Right.

DA: Now they tell me you should understand this. Erm its like as if, not learning difficult. But its something. How can I put it

What does he mean How can I put it I thought he was the medium not the editor.

Daniella: Theyre finding it hard at school.

Daniella digs him out of an awkward hole. Having started this line of conversation he didnt quite know where to go with it without being potentially insulting the child in question. If Debbie had a son or daughter who had severe learning difficulties there may have been embarrassment all round. In fact after the reading Debbie says she sometimes has trouble getting her little girl off to school. I guess as Jack is still alive he might well know that anyway.

DA: Yes. Okay

Debbie: Yeah

DA: Not a male. And like a daughter love, and its like [yep, yep] Ive got a very protective Grandmother.

The girl child is mentioned which rather leaves the comment, not a male somewhat redundant. He still errs on the side of caution by saying, daughter love. I think we can all safely assume that the girl is someones daughter what we would like to know is her name

Debbie: Laughs

At this point Derek launches into theatrical mode again.

DA: She comes in here and its like shes laying the law down here with me as if to say, Now listen (finger wagging for emphasis) this is the way she was and this is the way she is now presently.

Its like, Everyone of you better listen to me and she spoke with her hands (more finger wagging), And woe betide you if even if it was a man shed say this sort of attitude okay. But a very kindred heart.

Sorry what I dont have a clue what hes on about. This silly over-acted impersonation is meaningless. I have found though that this is an essential part of Acorahs technique. Its what makes him different from others in the field. That and his even dafter possessions. He also has his own way of butchering the English language so that despite using a lot of words he doesnt really say very much at all. What is he talking about kindred heart Was her heart related to Debbie in some way

Now I feel with her shes saying these words, her legs now she can kick them high like a Tiller girl. Because I know there was an effect with her legs okay. Erm and also her back. For some reason, her back comes in there. But shes fit and well now, in her spirit body. But shes come to you in your sleep. You got a noise Im being told, and I hope you dont mind me saying this (hands briefly strike a grovelling pleading pose) you got a noise so, so many times because what shes tried to do is come to you in the sleep, come into this home on a regular basis. Did you Forgive me. Did you have a dog in this home that had to be put to sleep

The anonymous woman has better legs now. Thats nice. Her back comes in as well, presumably following her legs. Good of her to drop by and tell us. Acorah likes to portray this Never-NeverLand quality of the afterlife. This doggy, does it have a name Maybe a breed Small Big Alas its just a general sort of dog.

Debbie: No but

DA: You understand the dog being put to sleep

Debbie: I do.

DA: Well hes with them over there. Running the legs off them, okay Theyre fed up, they havent got the energy the dogs got now, okay

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We can infer then that animals also have an afterlife. I wonder if you can still train dogs to do tricks when they are dead Given all eternity there should be some very clever spirit pooches around by now. What about lions and tigers and bears oh my The place must be heaving with every known species. Are there dinosaurs My daughters gerbil died recently, I wonder if he has a little spirit cage

DA: [What Yeah] And theres also um, dont take this the wrong way but they make me aware okay that when they come in visitation one time they made something go wrong with the WC or the toilet Do you understand this

Debbie: Im not sure to be honest.

DA: What was going on I dont want this to sound like, but something to do with the toilet.

Just when you thought Derek Acorah couldnt say anything more ridiculous he manages to excel himself. Im sure Debbie finds it very reassuring to be told that ghosts are visiting her home and having a look in the toilet while theyre there. Something to think about next time she uses it.

Debbie: Right.

DA: In the toilet. Something that was going on Was there unusual water flow, something to do with the water with the toilet

Prat!

Debbie: Yes, yes.

DA: Well theyre awful sorry about it, because they made it happen when they come in visitation. Okay

Debbie: Giggling.

Not only do they watch you in the loo but they mess about with the water flow. I think Debbie is within her rights to a) tell these unknown wraiths to stop spying on her and b) leave her toilet damn well alone.

DA: And also I got to.. sorry for pointing, I just get energised with it.

Indeed Derek gets all worked up again.

Daniella: Hes so excited

DA: Walking up the stairs, going up the stairs going bom, bom, bom. Who heard the footsteps

Debbie: slight laugh, Oh me actually. I often think Ive heard things.

DA: You thought it was your imagination.

Debbie: Yeah. I think I heard things.

As far as I can tell Debbie lives in a semi-detached home and so the chances of hearing someone going up stairs in the house next door are quite high.

DA: Its not your imagination. Honestly. Its not. It really isnt. Ann wants to be remembered. Anns coming in (more theatrics), You say my name! Im Ann. Its great to be back! Its great to be back! I can breathe now properly, shes shouting. She can breathe properly, so that must mean a great deal to her. [What Yeah. Who Yeah] Theyre talking about Paul. Who is Paul Young Paul. Living. Physical.

Ann can breathe now So we still have to breathe in the afterlife. Why What happens when you hold your breath for 15 minutes And after Anns brief appearance the name Paul is thrown out. But despite the terrific description (young, physical and living) Debbie cant place him. No John and now no Paul.

Debbie: No

DA: Theyre not fussy on the name Paul.

Debbie: Oh right.

DA: Check that out.

Debbie: I will do.

DA: Theres someone

Debbie: Im sure therell be people ring me telling me things

DA: Watch for this okay. It looks as though they're saying Paul is going about it the wrong way. Paul is going about it the wrong way.Ive been told by one of the lovely ladies here that your fridge is going on the blink.

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Im gutted. I didnt realise the message was so serious. Pauls going about it the wrong way. Oh no! Is he trying to carry out a do-it-yourself heart transplant or do they mean the way he changes the tyre on his bicycle Who knows

Then Derek drops another bombshell the fridge is on the blink! Oh yeah and how does the lovely lady know She probably caused it, shes got form after all. I havent forgotten about the vandalism of the toilet.

Debbie: Thats more than likely true.

DA: Theyre saying (Theyre saying. It was just the lovely lady a minute ago) check the fridge, its gonna go on ya girl. Thats what theyre saying okay. [What Yeah I will. Yes. They exercise what I don't want to embarrass] Erm okay. Ive got to tell you this, that theyre saying it to me very clearly, Ive got to say to you. The exercise contrption or machine (cough) that you got, or want, theyre saying (cough) dont just look at it or think about it, go and do it will you. Dont be putting it off. Sorry.

Im desperate to know what this contraption actually is that they are clearly talking to Derek about. Once again we find they are checking up on Debbie and telling her how she should live her life. If I discovered that my relatives had come into my house just to have a nose around I would not be best pleased. The fact that they are dead, somehow doesnt made it more acceptable. Notice Derek equivocation, The exercise contraption or machine that you got, or want

Debbie: It's very right. Ive got one in my bedroom. I never use it.

DA: Well use it because theyre fed up with coming in and seeing it lying dormant there, and youll get the results.

Everyone is chuckling merrily at those wacky spirits but suddenly Derek switches to his serious voice.

DA: [What Okay, thank you] Im also getting a man who, hes not loud, hes not shouting but hes just said, please I want to be remembered. Ill call him William, his true names Bill.

Debbie:

DA: He was an uncle of yours. Think back.

Debbie: Well I dont know. The whole of my fathers family Ive never met. So it could be anyone from that side.

Doesnt look like poor old Bill will be remembered after all. He can join the list of unknowns along with John, Jack & Paul. Different names and the one thing they have in common is that Debbie has never heard of them. How unlucky can a medium be

DA: Okay well hes just said uncleCheck on that side. [Er alright. Thank you] And theres also going back a lovely babe child that was carried and was lost to the world of spirit. The child would now be [How old Thank you, I can hear you] um the child now would be probably around the 9, 10th, 11th year.

Ive lost count of how many times Ive heard mediums trot this out. Potentially this has the power to move a woman to tears. It is probably one of the most insensitive things a person could say and a appears to be no more than a callous attempt at the manipulation of a potentially vulnerable person. Thankfully Acorah is as inaccurate here as has been with the rest of the reading. Despite confirming he can hear he can't give the exact age. If the child is growing up in 'the spirit world' what happens when it reaches puberty Do spiritual hormones kick in

At this point Daniella says they are done but while they are all packing up Derek still prattles on about the babe child.

After the reading, but before the studio interview, Derek asks Debbie if she understood everything. Debbie's reply: "A lot of it I did understand. Some of it didn't ring true..." Damned by faint praise.

Finally we get the summing up in which Debbie is prompted to say what a wonderful experience its all been.

Unbelievably the woman in the studio begins by saying to Debbie,

Now that looked like you recognised quite a few things in Dereks reading. What were the sort of things you could relate to

Debbie mentions her friends mother who died of cancer and her sister being called Mary. Not surprisingly she has forgotten that Acorah asked who was Mary and talked about a blood condition and not just cancer.

In a further attempt to make Derek sound vaguely credible she is asked,

How did it make you feel when he got it so right

Daniella asks who Ann was and Debbie says it was her cousin who died 10 years ago. She is not asked about Anns breathing difficulties or whether Dereks theatrics were a fair representation of her cousin.

The summing up

Well lets see just how accurate Derek (and Sam) were;

We started off with 3 spirit energies, 2 ladies and 1 man. One lady was thought to be Debbies friends Mum but the only reason to draw this conclusion is that she died of cancer. She had no real connection with Debbie, who was after all, the person having the reading. The name Mary happens to be her friends sister but all Derek did was throw out the name and let Debbie come up with the connection.

Next the man comes forward. This was the 5 foot 10 inch man with glasses and a strong smile. Despite this generality it apparently meant nothing to Debbie.

Then we have the other lady with the dual haemorrhage who comes in visitation chiming in. Doesnt register at all.

Lilly or Lillian is suggested and rejected.

John misses but there seems to be a vague acceptance of Jack. When Jack comes in all he does is mention the child who doesnt have learning difficulties and is a girl - not a male. The picture of a girl is right next to Derek but he never commits himself to the actual relationship with Debbie.

Following on from the girl child story we are introduced to the protective Grandmother. Despite the finger wagging, Dereks meaningless characterisation and the new legs she apparently meant nothing to Debbie.

After finding out that she visits Debbie in her sleep a dog is mentioned. Again no reaction from Debbie but she at least knows of a dog that was put to sleep. The point of this questioning by Derek is to give her the exciting news that the dog is running around in the afterlife.

Then we have the phantoms who spy on Debbie, make noises on the stairs and muck about with her toilet, soon followed by Paul who means nothing but we discover that her fridge is due to go on the blink.

After learning that she doesnt exercise enough highly forgettable Uncle Bill drops by.

Finally we have the child lost in pregnancy which has no meaning or relevance.

So tell us again Debbie again, How did it make you feel when he got it so right

Now there are two sites you must visit to understand the truth depth of this farce.

First read Randi's Commentary here.

Then spend time looking at the amazing video clips and commentary here